


a compass that sometimes points north

by ever_neutral



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-10
Updated: 2011-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-27 04:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ever_neutral/pseuds/ever_neutral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[CRACK. Pirates AU.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	a compass that sometimes points north

  
"Things just can't get any worse than this."

A harrumph. "Don't say things like that, Ron, you'll--"

"I'll what? Look where we are, Hermione. Stranded on a sodding island with our sodding crew sailing off into the sodding horizon. The only thing that could make this day worse is if a bunch of tyrannosauruses came out of those woods and ate us."

A sudden sharp look in the direction of the nearby trees.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hermione."

"You don't be ridiculous!" A pause. "And that's rich of you to say, when it's your fault we're here at all."

"What?" A hurried leap to his feet and disturbance of sand. "This was a group plan, woman."

"If you'd just closed that door properly--"

"You're the one who suggested we mutiny in the first place. I warned you two that something like this would happen, didn't I?"

Silence.

Then, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking it out on you. We're in this mess together."

A sigh. "Harry will come save us. He's got to."

"We can't spend the rest of our lives waiting for Harry to save us. Who knows where he is now." A worried frown. "They've probably got him locked up in the brig by now. And then…"

"No. He'll be fine. He's always fine. Okay?" The words are a little too emphatic to be totally convincing.

A pregnant pause.

Then, "Any minute now, he'll come gallivanting across the ocean on a buggering octopus. Just you wait."

A twitch of her mouth. "An octopus? You really think so?"

"Yep. His style, isn't it? Remember that time he got stuck in the Bermuda and made a raft of sea turtles to get back to us?"

...

"Ron, that never happened."

"What are you talking about, 'course it did. How could I have imagined that?"

"I haven't the faintest. Shut up. I'm having an idea."

"Does it involve sea turtles?"

A thwack.

"Ow."

\---

Some hours later:

"Ahoy! What are you two young 'uns doing in a place like this?"

"Long and dull story."

A nudge in the ribs. "Thanks ever so for stopping, sir. We really appreciate it."

"Well, we couldn't just ignore your smoke signal, could we?" An earnest grin. "Though I must say, it's a good thing you got our attention and not a bunch of pirates'."

…

"Yes."

"Quite."

\---

On the passenger ship:

A mutter, "First thing after a change of clothes, we loot the place and take over the ship."

A nod. "Let's go save our friend."

  
_fin_  
  



End file.
